I’m awkward.
- He’s does better in small groups with people he trusts. But, that’s how he sees himself.
I can’t hear what they are saying. I don’t know if they are talking about me or not.
- I’m guessing most kids aren’t talking about him (mostly). But some kids are cruel. And A-holes.
When I ask what did you say… they say, “nothing” or “never mind.”
- I think most people just don’t like to repeat themselves if it’s not totally important… and others just don’t understand how hard it is for someone with cochlear implants to hear.
I’m going to be emotional for the next few years.
- Most pre-teens and teens will be. You are normal, my child. But nothing at this age feels normal. You do have more than the average kid your age to deal with, though, so you rate.
I’m not an eagle; I can’t sit back and watch… because I don’t know what they are saying.
- I can’t even imagine how much stress and anxiety that causes.
Let’s just change the subject…
- I hope you know I have your back and we can talk about your feelings. I’m so proud of you for opening up and expressing yourself.
#deafanxiety
Confessions from a pre-teen kid living with cochlear implants~In between worlds: Deaf and Hearing. And a mother’s “internal” response.
My Battle Call 
aren’t these the things that go through every kid’s mind, hearing or not? in fact for many of us adults? as i start my med spa, i wonder the same things – do those women wonder why I’M opening a med spa? she isn’t pretty enough, or she doesn’t look the part. these anxieties may harangue us forever. sorry battle, you don’t own this space, so move over so i can couch next to you at dinner to ponder our self doubts! at least we can commiserate together! and someday, we’ll outgrow them…
Yes, every kid has these thoughts but for a HOH kid like my 6th grader – she really struggles with keeping up with her hearing friends at lunch and recess…well most of the day really. She can’t hear the giggles, jokes, the whispering (even if it’s harmless or funny) and she has no clue what’s being said at lunch and at recess. She just smiles and nods. So much conversation and friendship connection is lost because she just isn’t able to join in. That’s a ton of added pressure and uncertainty.
So true! It’s a reality that most can not imagine. Thanks for sharing! And keep on keepin on! Journey daughter is a lucky girl!
I’m 30 now and soon to get my first implant. Then to follow shortly after to become bilateral.
I was bullied in school when I wore just hearing aids. I ask my “so called friends” what did you say, or I’d ask, did you just say…. and their response was OMG never mind, or it was nothing just forget it.
I agree with you, Yes kids can be A-Holes, omg yes they can be. My son suffers from SPD and mentally delay in school work. He is now getting bullied and it’s just not right at all.
Us as parent “can’t follow like a eagle” just like you said. But the anxiety us parents have to face to is just as hard as well.
Keep up the good work mama. We just have to teach them, no matter what they are just like the others just slightly different and that DOESNT MAKE THEM ANY BETTER then YOU.
Another thing always encourage them to include never exclude their self, no matter what they wanna do. Because one day that A-hole kid just might become your best friend after all. 🙂
I tell my son this everyday.
You are awesome!!! Thank you for sharing.